The next month Delvyn started working for my Dad. He went from farming to logging, he was forwarding the wood that my brother had cut. So now I was seeing him many times a week. He would come to our place and then ride to work with my brother. Now & then he even stayed for supper. And as we would spend the evening together, many times I would ponder just how God was going to work this all out.
We remained good friends through this time. I did my best to show no favoritism towards him, though there were many times it was hard not to. I was finding my heart was being drawn to this man, who was changing in so many ways, as God was leading his life. I was constantly praying about it… I didn’t want to give my heart to him before it was time. And I still would question that ‘voice I had heard’ in OH. I was doing my best to just trust God through this time of waiting.
Just before Christmas, our Church did some Christmas Caroling to some neighbors and friends. The youth all went together in Delvyn’s truck, much to my delight. And the other guys decided the 2 girls should ride in front. I didn’t mind, we took turns sitting in the middle. And again I had plenty of time to ponder the man beside me. Glimpsing what may lay ahead, I was finding peace in my heart, that God would work it all out.
Then in the end of Jan ’02 beginning of Feb. My family went on a mission trip to Mexico, for a week. Delvyn decided to join us. So he flew down with my brother, while the rest of us drove. I was delighted to be able to spend a week with him, to be able to observe him and watch him interact with people and our family. When you’re together for a week, the true you really comes out. And I found myself liking him more and more. By the time it came to say ‘Good-bye’ at the end of the week. I did NOT want to. On that last ride together, before we parted ways, we sat side by side, not saying a word. I didn’t know what to say and I was scared I’d end up saying more than I should-like what I was feeling and what was in my heart. I don’t know how it was that we sat beside each other-some things just happen. But I could sense he was feeling some of the same things too. It was exciting and scary at the same time. It would be almost a week, ‘til we would see each other again, and it seemed like a long time at the moment.
Soon after coming home, our youth group went to a Bible School program 2 hrs away, on a Friday evening. The following day we all went to the Mall of America, for some fun. We all had a great time, until Delvyn told me in hushed tones, ‘I’d like to talk to you sometime’. At first it didn’t bother me, but it didn’t take long and my thinking gears were rolling very fast!!! And at times I was about going nuts. How was I to act?? How was I to know what he was thinking?? Was this it?? Was he actually going to ask me?? Would I get asked to be his ‘special girl‘??
As the day wore on we couldn’t seem to get a chance to be alone, without being too obvious. We almost had our chance, when all but 3 of us went on a ride. It seemed a few certain people could tell there were ‘sparks’ between us, and they were not about to let us alone for even a few minutes. I was OK with that, as I thought of brincking on a new horizon and it looked a tad scary to me. So we never got to talk that day and I was left to wonder just what it was that he was going to talk to me about.
It gave me a few days to ponder and pray. I tried to just let it all in God’s hands. And for all I knew he was not going to actually ask me what I thought he possibly would. I tried to prepare myself for that option, but I wasn’t very successful.
We did finally get our chance to talk a week or two later. Delvyn had bought a car, and since we had a Youth Volleyball game that evening, he had stayed for supper. I don’t know how or why it happened that I was allowed to ride with Delvyn to the game. (I normally never got to ride alone with another guy.) I think my brother helped make that one happen. So I knew ‘now’ would be the time he would get to ask me what ever it was that he wanted to talk to me about.
It didn’t take him long to ask me, (I still remember the spot on the road.) though I don’t remember the exact words, it was something to the effect of ’Is there anything special going on between us??’ How was I to answer that one?? If I said ’Yes, there is.’ How would he respond?? I couldn’t lay my heart out there to have him say there wasn’t anything on his part. What if I was misreading all the things I thought were little signs he liked me?? What if he said he didn’t think of me in that way?? I knew I would be hurt. So I answered him by saying ‘I think of you as a really great friend.’ All I heard of his response was, ’I feel the same way.‘ I never heard the rest of his comment, ‘But I’m not saying, there never will be more. Just not right now.’ All I knew was that I was crushed!! He didn’t care for me the way I thought.
…To be continued…