Homemade Humor

After devotions this evening, Delvyn asked Collin what happened in the story, ‘What did you learn?’ *blank look* ‘What did God make?’ *thoughtful pause* ‘A girl’. ‘Well, it was a Lady.’ ‘What? It’s not a ‘Lady’. A Lady is a dog!!!‘ So much for naming our dog ‘Lady’. Now the boys will have a hard time thinking of women as ‘Ladies’.

Overheard from the backseat while coming home from town… Collin to Jevan-‘You have fat legs. I have skinny ones.’

‘Collin, is that where your (dirty) clothes belong?’ ‘Mom, I’m gonna wear them tomorrow.’ ‘Emmm, No sir! We don’t wear our clothes 2 days in a row.’ ‘Why not?’ He was trying to get out of putting them in the hamper. ‘Because they are dirty and they stink.’ *thoughtful pause-on his part* ‘But I don’t want to waste them!!’ ‘I’ll wash them and you can wear them again. That’s not wasting them!’ ‘Yes, it is!!’

Slllaaaammmm!!! Goes the door. ‘MOM!! What you doing?’ As he comes to stand beside me to see what I am up to. ‘Collin, you stink!! Go change your clothes.’ ‘No Mom, then I’m wasting them!’ ‘It’s fine if you change your clothes. You were in the barn, you are dirty and you stink. So go change.’ ‘Buuutttt, Mommmmm.’

After listening to his Dad’s red heifer bawling a while in the pasture, he headed for the door. As he reached for the handle, he looked at me and said, ‘Go tal(k) (to the) cows.’  -Jevan

Sllllaaapppppp!!!! ‘Keel (kill) it? ‘Yep’ ‘Goo(d) job, Mom!!’ It’s fly (swatter) season here. -Jevan

‘Mom, are sneezes good?’ ‘Are what good?’ ‘…to eat. Are sneezes good to eat? I seen ’em (people) eat them?’ ‘Do you like them? They are gross!’ ‘Yuck, I not like them. But the ‘Achoo’s, they are good.’ -Collin

After his Dad’s shower, Collin was looking at the ‘I Love You!’ written on the shower wall. He soon observed that, ‘Mom, your love is all messed up!!’

 ‘There’s motorcycles coming’, Collin hollers as they rumble pass the house.They have cabs on them!’ ‘They have what on them?’ I asked. Imagining a strange-looking bike with some sort of cab fastened onto it, so the driver can try to stay warm. ‘He had a cab on him. You know, on his head!!’

Upon seeing a field Collin made the observation – ‘Hey, that farmer rolled up his field!!’ ‘He what?’ ‘Oh, I mean he made round bales in his field!’

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