7 Years I Have Wondered…

Even though it has been 7 yrs. ago now, I still wonder about you. I still think of you – often too, and I wonder.

I wonder who you would have looked like. I wonder whether you would have been a boy or a girl. ( I like to think you would have been a girl.) I wonder if you would have had blonde hair and blue eyes, just like your brothers. I wonder what our life would be like with a 6 yr. old. I wonder if we would have a Collin, or a Jevan or a Rylen. I wonder who you would have been.

I didn’t ask for the unexpected blessing of your life. I didn’t know what your Dad would think, I didn’t know what to think myself. I didn’t know I would fall in love so fast. I didn’t know your visit would only be 8 1/2  short weeks. I didn’t know the pain that would follow would be so intense. I didn’t know I would be able to cry so many tears. I didn’t know a being so tiny could leave such an impression. I didn’t know a child I’d never met, could be missed so much.

But you taught us so much is such a short time… You taught us a new awareness in life. You taught us what being a parent feels like. You taught us life is short and uncertain. You taught us to enjoy the little moments. You taught us to say, ‘I Love You’ while we can. You taught us God still cares in the darkest valleys. You taught us to reach out to others who are hurting. You taught us tenderness, strength and courage. You taught us patience, hope and joy.

You were only here for a moment but you will be remembered forever. You were only here for a twinkling of the eye but you will live forever. You were only a whisper but your presence still echo’s in my heart.

~In memory of my babies God holds~

Oct. ’03 (8 1/2 wks), April ’04 (12 wks), and Dec. ’06 (4wks)

An Angel

Angel once lay ‘neath my heart,

A Promise of life to come;

My little babe, was resting there,

Yet, would not follow me home.

My tiny, precious Angel

Had plans unknown to all,

For my angel heard the voice of God,

And hastened to His call.

My angel flew on fragile wings;

Into the Father’s arms;

To slumber there in peaceful rest,

Untouched by earthly harms.

So slumber there, my precious child,

Til I can come to you;

I’ll keep you here, deep in my heart,

Till my journey on earth is through.

~Allison Chambers Coxsey
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2 Responses to 7 Years I Have Wondered…

  1. Anna says:

    This post brought tears to my eyes! *hugs* to you today

  2. Lavina says:

    Brought tears to my eyes too. Extra special blessings to you as you remember. Hope you’re feeling better today. We did miss you last night.

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