Here I sit, typing one-handed, while my baby sleeps nestled in the other arm. He’s wearing his brothers heavy winter coat and his favorite winter boots. He wanted so badly to go with his brothers and Dad to pick up heifers. He brought Collins coat to me, to be put on, so I did. Amid his tears. Then he brought Jevans boots, but in the end settled for his own. He walked to the door, waiting for me to open it so he could go out too. The tears were many as I regretfully told him ‘No’.
So I set him on a stool, and he snacked on banana pancakes, and watch YouTube clips. But he was still so sad and down hearted, I just had to pick him up and hug him and love him. He snuggled into me. Letting me comfort him, letting me dry his tears, and soaking up my love. He has finally accepted and is resting in the fact that ‘Mom knows best’. And only then was he able to relax and drift off to sleep. (He’s been sick the past 2 days.)
How often am I like Rylen?? I observe other people’s lives, their goals, life’s work, where God is taking them, how they seem to have it all together… or whatever… And I get upset, and I cry. I try to do what they are doing, because it looks so much better. It looks like they are getting to do whatever they want to do in life. It looks like God cares for them more than me. And I want it too.
Finally, I reach the end of myself, and I reach up for God to hold me. I snuggle into His lap and soak in His love. I realize He knows what is best for me. He is leading and guiding me in the best path right here and right now!! I am finally resting in His Peace and Love, I feel safe and secure. And I’m able to sleep peacefully, knowing my life is in His control and He sees the big picture as I just view my small corner.
What a beautiful place to be!!!