‘3 is a Circus’

I needed to go shopping. My hubby was going to a meeting. I was not gonna drop my boys off at Grandma’s. I was not gonna ask a sister to stay with them or go with me. So 3 lil’ boys were going to go with their Mom!!! All 3 hate shopping!!! And their Mom doesn’t enjoy taking them all shopping. So I was not very excited about the whole idea…

But…

We had a GREAT time!!! I decided to just lay down any high expectations, no rushing, no stressing over things… we were going for the fun and experience! What do you know, it worked!!!

As we load up, they are excited!! Many questions, ‘Where are we going, Mom?’ ‘Which stores??’ ‘Can we buy toys?’ ‘Can we go to the BIG toy store?’ (Toy’s R Us) ‘How much food are we buying?’ ‘How long will it take us??’ ‘Will we beat Dad back home??’ And so on and such forth.

I decided to just let the music off. Most time I like it kinda on the loud side. It not only drowns out the loud cheerfull chatter of the boys, but I don’t have to be answering the million and one rediculous redundant makes no sense to me wonderful childish questions. I just let myself enjoy their chatter, I listened to their conversations, as much as you can call jumble of words between a 5 yr going on 15 and a 3 yr old, who could really care less about all the stuff his brother throws at him in the form of words.

Rylen spots a group of those 4 legged black and white bovines. He mutters and mumbles and does his best to ‘moooo mooo’ all while still holding onto his precious discusting nuk, between his front teeth. I look back at him and nod, ‘Yes, that’s cows isn’t it??’ ‘Moo moooo’, he mumbles again. ‘Lot’s and lots of cows,’I say. I am having fun with him and his limited ‘English’. All at once that 5yr old, going on 15, pipes up from the back seat, ‘Those aren’t COWS!!!’ I was somewhat surprised by his out burst, knowing that what I seen was for sure of the ‘cow family’. ‘Those are steers!!! They are NOT cows!!!’ (Yes, I knew that. Guess he is going to make sure Rylen is properly trained!!)

We are still a about 5 miles from our destination and I hear a little voice repeating in the back seat, ‘Baffrum, baffrum’. My heart sinks, I had forgotten to make sure THAT kid went before we left. ‘You need to go to the bathroom??’ I ask the character. ‘Ummm, yah’. ‘Can you wait a bit longer til we get there??’ ‘Yeah.’ I’m thinking, ‘Good, we’ll just park by the entrance where the ‘baffrums’ are.’ Later we pull up and park. I unbuckle seat belts and they all hop out. Rylen is being very independent, just like his brothers. But he trips and falls flat, not just once but twice. I happen to look around and see a couple,in  a spot close by, watching with amused looks. I then realized both of Rylen’s shoes are untied. So I stop the troops, of the which, 2 are almost to the door, so I have to give a holler. Of course Collin stops right away, but Jevan… Oh, he just keeps going. Yes, he heard, but doesn’t care. He’d much rather walk along hugging all those wonderful, yellow posts every 5ft. So Collin hollers!! And Jevan finally pauses.

We finally get in the door, and head for the baffrums. I take the 2 youngest and go in the handicap stall, (they are bigger you know, plus there are only 2 stalls.) As I am shutting the door, I see Collin on the floor. ‘Brother’s, why would he be on the dirty public restroom floors’, I think to myself. ‘Collin, what are you doing??’ ‘Someone came out with the door locked, so I’s got to crawl underneath.’ As if it’s a common occurence!! By which point he is half way under the door, doing the belly crawl. So I let him go. By then Jevan is trying to ‘go’ himself, but he’s having problems. As he stand’s there, he say’s, ‘I can’t go Mom. I wanna sit.’ So we sit. I hate those big old pots. A child can never sit on it right, and the split in the rings are just wrong. invariably a leg will land right in that split, landing on the toilet ring. And most times that ring is so gross, but we don’t have time to wait and clean things before the trickle starts!! So I look the other way and just let it pass. But his trickle never starts. ‘Mom, I can’t go.’ He hops off and waits for me to help him. Grrr, he’ll probably have to go when we are in the furthest corner from this pot!! (Which he didn’t then, he waited til we got home.)

We head out the door, and into the store. Rylen is lolly-gaggly around and almost got nailed by the automatic door. He was in the wrong spot- more like, heading back out the enter door. I quick run and rescue him. In the mean time Collin spots a man with an empty shirt sleeve. He stares, I direct his attention else where. We are only a few feet from them when Collin quite loudly say’s, ‘Mom, why didn’t that guy have arms??’ ‘He was only missing one arm. And I don’t know. Shall we go ask him??’ (I love answering him with that question. He would NEVER stop and ask someone anything.) We keep going.

He wants to buy flowers. And as I’m saying, ‘No’, the gentleman without an arm walks by. ‘Awww, why don’t ya get some pretty flowers, they would be worth it don’t you think.’ (Ok, I don’t remember just what he said, but it was along those lines.) Immediately Collin and Jevan are totally preoccupied with looking at the rows and rows of bread loaves. He is trying to talk a bit more with them and they have nothing to do with him. (I got some training to do!!) So I tell Rylen to tell him ‘Hi’ and he waves from his perch in the cart. At least one does the proper thing.

On we go to buy produce… and oh, the questions they can ask… ‘What’s this?’ ‘Can we eat that?’ ‘Yummm, this is good, can we get some??’ Yes, they know they can’t eat a lot of the food in stores. So I am answering lots of ‘We don’t eat that because it has _____________ in it.’ It’s a good time for training and educating them. Collin tries racing me down the long semi-empty aisles. And we are just having fun… We stop to get a birthday card for my cousin. And I am soon having 2 cards shoved at me, asking to be read. Jevan spots a ‘Lightening McQueen’ and Collin decides he’ll just get his own birthday card, (a couple of months early!!). I quick pick one out, as more cards are being pulled out and returned to wrong spots.

As we head into the check-out line, the boys start pulling stuff out to hand the checker. Rylen turns around and begins tossing him things from the front of the cart. The guy barely caught a few of the things. And I quick put a stop to his antics. But the guy was like, ‘Ya gotta let him practice that baseball arm!!’ ‘Oh, he’s got it already!!! He loves throwing balls.’ (And he out does most of his brothers too.)

We end the trip in that store, and as we head for the next stop, I praised them all up really good. I was genuinely impressed with how they behaved. We head for the ‘Dollar Tree’. I had some things I wanted to get for a party. I told them they may each pick out ONE thing!! (Remember, I never take them shopping and I never buy them anything. You think they are going to know what ONE THING is in an aisle FULL of toys?!?!?!)

I find a few things I want and we wander around looking at everything. (I love those little stores. They have so many unique and strange things.) We finally get to the toys… they each pick something out. But for Collin who wants sunglasses. (He has been begging for a pair for a few months now. But I can’t justify the $3-$5 cost at most places, knowing they will break in a few days.) So we take off looking for the sunglasses. We finally spot them in a corner, right by the helium balloons. Rylen has been riding in the back of the cart, while Jevan sat in the child spot, (his choice). So Rylen can easily reach up and get one. But the next thing I hear is Collin gaily laughing and carrying on about something, all while I help Jevan find a pair of glasses he likes. Yep, he changed his mind. No more bugs, we want glasses. I look up to see what is tickling Collin’s funny bone and see Rylen merrily strutting around -out of the cart!! I plunk him back in, with a balloon. He doesn’t want that ‘fireman’s hat’ any more.

We leave… I had one more thing to look for. We pause by, emmm, I don’t remember what it was… when this lady pauses as she walks by and say’s, ‘You have an escapee’. Yep, Rylen was half way out over the side of the cart again. This time he was on a mission. He had found the perfect toy!!! A bat and a ball!! They were short and just his size. But he kept digging through them all. I tried getting him to pick just one, but no, he wasn’t happy. Then he finally found a bat without the ball attached. He got a ball and started batting his ball right there in the store!!

I told them they had all better pick their toy for the final time, ‘We are heading for the check-outs!!’ Collin had his sunglasses, Jevan decided on Rylen’s cast-off helium balloon and Rylen was getting his bat and ball.

On the ride home they were all HAPPY!!! I didn’t hear much out of them. They were probably as worn out as I was. And they munched on the rare treat of a snack I got them. Yes, we beat Dad home. And yes, we had lots of fun.

But I won’t take all 3 shopping alone again in a long while. I think as they get older it is getting easier… but if I ever went on a big grocery shopping trip, brothers!!!

And for the record, I have only taken all three shopping by myself, at the most a handful of times since Rylen was born!! I am spoiled by a hubby who will go with me, and then sit in the van, with all 3 boys, while I shop. (It makes you shop faster that way, and not so many impulse buys.) 😉
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This entry was posted in Boys, Homemade Humor, Motherhood, Randomness. Bookmark the permalink.

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