Homemade Humor #6

*If you are friends with me on FB, you will have already have read them. I copied and pasted a bunch of my stats here. If I don’t, I know I’ll just forget. There are some here that never got posted. And these are from the past 2 months or so.*

‎’Boy’s, go put on your PJ’s.’ Soon Jevan comes with his pj’s for me to help him change. ‘Here’s my clothes, Mom.’ ‘What kind of clothes are they??’ ‘Pancakes!!’ How I missed THAT kid!!! I can’t give him enough kisses and hugs to satisfy the need from the past 3 wks… but we are trying!!


‘Collin go ask Mom if you should take anything with you out to the van.’ ‘Ok’. ‘Mom is there anything you not want me to take to the van??’ “Yeah, you can take the container of grapes. And did you know you didn’t ask that properly?? You should have asked, ‘Is there anything you want me to take to the van?’ ‘Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want to take anything out with me.’


‘Jevan, are you ready to get off the pot?’ ‘My eye hurt, it fallin’ out.’ ‘What? Which one?’ ‘Dis one’, as he point and rubs at his left eye. “It comin’ out.’ ‘Oh, ok, I’m sure it will be ok. Ya wanna get off now?’ ‘Yeah, I’s done.’


As we were driving by a friend’s place that sells those minibarns, Collin remarked, ‘Mom, we should get one of those. You know for us a playhouse.’ I smiled and said, ‘Yeah, it would be fun. But I have an idea! Dad and I are talking about it.’ He groans and says, ‘Ohhh, Mom, noooo!!!’ (In other words… he knows his Mom and all her great and wonderful hairbrain ideas, that often stay as that-ideas!!)


I have cow feet on my hands!!’ ‘What? didn’t you wash up after you came in from the barn?’ (I had heard ‘cow feed’, not ‘feet’!!) ‘Mooom!! It’s like this!!’ And he shows me an upside down cow laying in the sunshine with his hand laying behind so the feet cast a shadow across it.


-Farming and Racing CAN go together-

‘Hey Mom, this cow won!! She gets to go in this stall ’cause she won ‘The Piston Cup’!! And this one did too, so she goes in that stall. But this cow didn’t win, so she goes way over in this junky stall. I like the ones that win in ‘The Piston Cup’!!!’


‘I’m gonna definitely raise a million animals, Mom, Way more than anyone can count!!’ 


I’m not sure who or what is cleaner – the dishes, the counter, the chairs, the floor or the 3 little boys who did them in their shorts!!:) (Hey, they had fun!!)


The boys know they are not allowed to ‘shoot’ each other. But I often will hear bits and piece of something of the sort going on. This morning was no different… it always fun to hear their ‘excuses or reasons’ why or why not they did it or what they are ‘doing’.

‘Bang!! You’re dead!!’ ‘Collin,’ I holler, ‘You know you are not allowed to shoot each other!’

‘He died. By his self!!’


This morning we were telling Jevan, ‘You are smart!!’ ‘No, I not. I a boy!’ ‘Yeah, you are a boy and you are smart.’ ‘No, I a BOY!!’ Tonight at supper, he was not sitting right to eat. So I told him, ‘Sit up and eat properly. You are a little boy, not a monkey!!’ ‘No, I a monkey!!’ ‘And this morning you were a little boy!!’ ‘No, I a monkey!!’


After I give Collin a bit of a pep-talk, he started laughing and said, ‘Mom’s all serous, and Dad’s cracking up!!’ He was laughing at Rylen who was intently listening to me, and Collin was watching his Dad.


My boys love to play on the table so much that, even though it’s set for supper, they are still ‘farming’ around and on the plates. Using spoons and forks for fences and cow prods… We are all hungry and waiting on ‘Dad’. But at least as long as they are ‘farming’ they are happy!!:)


He ate 3 ‘Easy-Over’ eggs, but was not happy as I was washing him up. As soon as I was done he takes off for the table and soon was chortling away, he was cleaning up his brother’s left-over egg. NOW he should be full!!!


Yep, it would be THAT kid… a few weeks ago he disabled the toy box lid hinge, a few days ago he discovered how to take the pin out of the hinge. Last night he took the whole lid off… his Dad put it all back together again, gave strict orders that it was not to be repeated. And this morning he had it all apart again in a few minutes. (I now have the lid under my bed-shhhh, don’t tell him!!)


…And then there are days the baby never gets dressed…


It always makes me hold my breath… but 6 eggs were safely delivered to the door via THAT kid!!! And he was quite proud of his accomplishment!! (They only break eggs now and then… ya know.;) )


‎’Nuts, Mom!! I found NUTS to eat!!!’ ‘What you want to eat NUTS for??’ ‘Cause I’m a SQUIRREL, and squirrels LIKE NUTS!!!!’ …Just another day in the Martin House of BOYS!!! (Upon lookin at what he had found, seen it is a bunch of uncracked walnuts from my Grandpa Hershey!! Now I’m feeling emotional!!) {My Grandpa died in Feb.}


As Jevan was attempting to put his boots on, he was making noises trying to keep himself up-right. ‘Uh, oh, eh…’ So I asked, ‘Are you falling, Jevan??’ ‘No, Mom! I danding up!!’


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