I long to be your cheerful wife and help-meet.. but it seems I’m not.
I dreamed of fixing you the wonderful supper you deserved… but I didn’t.
I’m sure a simple meal, served with love and cheer would have made you happy… but I grumbled, complained and made excuses.
I long to be healthy, full of energy and overflowing with many good and happy thoughts… but I’m not.
I long to be a loving mother with a never-ending supply of patience and love to help our sons grow ever upwards… but I so often fail.
You know how I long to be a ‘normal woman’, no lyme crashes or diet changes to blame… but there are and I do.
Yes, dear one, you know what I long to be and am not… you’ve heard it so often.
But let me tell you again: Thank you! for standing by me and loving me; not for what I long to be… but just as I am!
Keep encouraging me to focus on the One who truly knows and understands… not only what I long to be, but what I need.
How dare I murmur, when it is He that sends these trials? Can I not be patient for one more day-hour by hour, moment by moment?
Can’t I think of blessings in disguise through this sore trial? Would I truly know and appreciate your love and support if things would all go my way? Could I understand and sympathize with other women if I were a wonder woman?
Could my Heavenly Father accept me then, or would I be too prone to forget Him and all His wonderful promises? He makes all things beautiful in His own time and way.
Father, forgive me… take me and shape me… whatever it takes… make me acceptable to Thee. That is the woman I long to be!!!
–Martha Helmuth -Keepers At Home Winter 2008-
(Slight changes to fit my place in life right now.)