Homemade Humor #8

-‘Mom, I’m done’, the cry comes from the bathroom. (interpret, ‘Wipe me, so I can get off’.) A bit later I am walking into the room, upon hearing ‘sounds’, I told him that ‘obviously you are NOT done’. And walk back out. ‘Mom, I was tool’ding.’ ‘Really? Is that all?!?!’ ‘Yep, it fun!!’ ~Gotta be a BOY!!!!  –Jevan

-‘Puuulllllll!!! PUUULLLlllll’ ‘I’m pulling a calf out Rylen.’ *Grunt* ‘Pullllll, pullll!!!!’ *Puff, pant, grunt, puff* ‘Hey, we got a heifer calf Rylen!!’  –Jevan

-His Dad chases him, and gets him down… Grabs a toe and pulls. Grabs the next and Collin says, ‘Don’t pull that one, it’s already broke!!’

-‘OUCH! It’s that bad knee. I don’t like this leg!!’ ‘What’s wrong with it?’ ‘This’, and he pulls up his pant leg and shows me a large scab on it. ‘It hurts so bad, I don’t like this knee!!’

-While eating supper, Jevan informed me, ‘I fell out of bed again.’ ‘You did? What did you do that for?’ ‘Because I like too!!’

-‘Hey, Jevan, in a little while you are going to go with me to the chiropractor.’ ‘What? Why?’ So he can fix your back and your neck and make you feel better.’ ‘No! I not want him to cut my neck off.’

-As the boys are tussling, Jevan gets a hold of Collin and begins to haul him away… ‘Where are you takin’ me? To jail?’ ‘Nooooo.’ *Pause* ‘Taco Bell!!’

-‘Mom, where’s the bat for this ball?’ ‘Outside.’ What’s it doing outside?? Sleeping?? And he giggles at his own joke!!  -Jevan

-‘Am I gettin’ bigger, Mom?’ ‘Yep!! You are.’ ‘Booklyn getten bigger.’ ‘Yes, she is growin’ too.’ ‘Oh, she tall’r then I! Is Collin getten bigger?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Is Rylen getten bigger?’ ‘Yes, everyone keeps growing.’ Grandma getten bigger.’ ‘She is? Which one?’ ‘Grandma Martin’ Pause ‘She not getten bigger. She lil’l.’  –Jevan

-The other night I took a ginger sweat bath, later the boys came to my bed to kiss me ‘Good-night.’ Then Collin went to the bathroom and was amazed at the way my tub looked!! ‘It looks like someone was playing in the sand too long at church.’ I had to laugh. Then I explained what it was, and that it made me sweat. ‘Well, if you just work and run around real hard it makes you sweat.’ If only I could work so hard that I sweat!! Well, I do now and then, and am so worn out afterward!!

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