Oh, the joys of the ups and downs of Lyme Life!!! Seems about the time I get on a roll of feeling good, I crash just that fast again. Keeps me on my toes or on my butt.:)
I really don’t know where to start… how to put into words my feelings… how to describe my days… how to admit the emotional roller coaster such a life puts you on… or how to say ‘I’ll be ok’.
Monday I was feeling pretty good. Delvyn knew I had shopping to do, so he decided to make it a ‘date night’. My sister came and baby-sat the boys for the evening. And Delvyn and I had a wonderful time. I felt good while shopping, which I was a bit surprised at, as I had felt pretty good Sunday, so thought I would have a rougher day. (Probably some of it was adrenalin.)
But Tues. I woke up with a headache and it all went down-hill from there. By mid afternoon, I could hardly walk. Not from pain, but just felt so weak and like my legs would give out on me.
And Wed. morning they did. I couldn’t finish my shower without a break. Thankfully my headache was gone. So I felt like being up. But didn’t do much of anything on my feet. My arms/hands were very weak, so doing much was out of the question. My sister came over for the afternoon to do general house stuff and make supper.
Thurs. morning I was feeling better yet. But still weak. A friend told me she would bring supper. They all came over then and we sliced our bacon and wrapped hams. I really enjoyed the evening and felt amazingly pretty good. We even got the boys Christmas Play costumes resized.
Friday I didn’t feel too bad. Sara came again to do some cleaning. So I was helping her. Probably not the smartest thing, but it is VERY hard for me to sit around and watch someone else do MY work!! And then I was DONE!! My legs went weak, hands were shaky and I laid on the couch ’til supper time.
When you have lyme it is very easy to sink into depression, a state of feeling ‘sorry for myself’, ‘why me’s’, and ‘it’s not fair God’, when you don’t socialize, when you just sit at home alone… so I am making it a point to not allow myself to go down that path. The emotions with lyme are such a wave of highs and lows. Tears are often too close to the surface way too often. And more times than not, I don’t really know why I feel the way I do.
Soooo I went to Family Night Volley Ball, last night. No, I didn’t feel so good, yes, I sat on the floor in a corner and tried to read. But the stuff was too deep it was going over my head, I wasn’t remembering what I was reading and my brain was in a dazing fog. But I got out of the house, the first since Monday night!!
It helps to get out, to take my mind off ‘ME’. No, I’m not perfect. I was feeling pretty low Tues. evening. I was home alone, while the rest went with friends to make summer sausage. But I watched the film ‘Under Our Skin’ and realized how blessed I am. I am still really mild yet as far as symptoms go. I have other friends who are struggling to accept their circumstances in life as well. They may not be sick, but they are still needing to accept God’s will, as am I.
Wed. Mom took Linda to that new Lyme Dr. and she was very excited. He treats long-term, likes natural things (herbs), and seemed very knowledgable in lyme. So I am excited about our appointment on Tues.
But NOT excited about what all may follow.:) If you know Lyme, it will get worse BEFORE it gets better. If you don’t know much about lyme, I encourage you to educate yourself!! It is sweeping over the country, far more people have it then they even realize. Many don’t even know they have it, being told it is a dozen different things by as many Drs. who can’t find a problem because all the lab work comes back just fine. ‘So it’s in their heads.’ (Yeah, I feel a bit bitter about all the Lyme controversy.:) )
Today I am fighting a headache again. So far it’s mild. But that’s not saying much. It often stays that way until afternoon, then gets worse. The boys have been at Grandma’s all morning. They went to get hair cuts. They were beginning to look quite wooly.
And hopefully tomorrow I will be able to go to church. And be there most of the day… there is play practice in the afternoon for the boys. And Mom MUST be there, she may NOT leave and come back.
Next Wed. I take Rylen to the Dr. to have his elbow rechecked. When he fractured it this spring, it went right through the growth plate, so they just wanna make sure it’s growing ok.
Life goes on, and life is good. Sometimes you just have to look harder to find the good in life!! But there are so many blessings we can count… And I am feeling blessed!!