I’m still pinching myself, and I probably will be for the next week or two!!! Actually, I will until I am home again, and even then, as I look back and remember, I will wonder if it was all a fancy dream!!
12 days in FL. 12 days – 1/2 block from the ocean. 12 days of sand and sun. 12 days of treating lyme… God is sooo good!!!!
We have been praying about my returning to FL to do the cleanses again, as we really felt like it helped my body so much last year. We talked of doing it this fall, but it just didn’t work out. So I just decided that maybe God wanted me to just be in the ‘state of sickness’ for a while. And I felt like I was finally accepting that this past month.
Towards the end of Nov/Dec, I really took a dip down. I have lacked so much energy, am very weak in the legs, so standing it hard to do. Walking is very limited. I spend much time resting between each small odd job. My sister and a cousin have been coming to help, cleaning, dishwashing, some food making, and whatever else there is to do. I do dishes a bit, but it is very tiring. Our Church family has been bringing in a few meals a week.
So we talked again of my going to FL. But again wondered how it would all work out. Then right before Christmas, my hubby decided I was to go. And my sister was asked to go along. She needed to get off work, and we needed to find out when it would suit at the FL end. By Christmas Day, we knew we were going, and had a couple of options of places to stay.
And then I found out the one option wasn’t an option, as it was in a very questionable location. So the search began again. And God lead me to this tiny little motel on Lido Key, an island off Sarasota. But it was a bit more than the other place, so I decided to let it up to my hubby.
And this is where the ‘submissive wife’ part comes in. God has been teaching me a lot the last few yrs on submission. And I know I have not ‘arrived’ yet!!! Submission comes in many, many forms!!! And is expressed in many, many ways!!! Submission it is not to be an outward show, but actually needs to come from the heart!! It needs to be an attitude of the heart.
There have been times I ask for things/to do things, and then ‘submissively’ wait for his answer. But while ‘waiting’ keep ‘bugging’ him about it. Letting him know just how I want him to answer without actually telling him how to answer. So in the end, he lets me do what I want. But then I can NEVER enjoy that ‘thing’ like I could have if I would have just submitted and let him do as he seen best. It sits as a big road block in my enjoyment of life…
I am slowly learning that life is much better letting my husband be in control. I don’t need to tell him how to do anything!!! Not even to slow down when we are driving!!! (You know as you enter town and he is still going 5-10 over, and you gently remind him that the speed limit IS 25!!) Do you know how much that bugs a man?? How often does he drive without you, and he does just fine!???!?!!?? I am still working on that one!!
So I decided to let this lodging thing up to him. He knew I would love to stay on the beach. But I also made it VERY clear I would be perfectly happy to stay at the other option. And then I was quiet. (If you know me, that’s not so easy.) One morning he came in from the barn with his answer. Oh, yes, I was excited!!! (He also said the sand and sun should help me get better too. We’ll just let him think that way.;) )
I can enjoy this gift from my hubby, because he gave it to me out of love!!! He gave from his heart, no nagging from me!! I will have no guilt, I can relax while there knowing he loves me, and he knows he has my heart!!
I know I am not done learning, I will still mess up. But God’s plan in a wife’s submission is perfect, amazing and so awesome when we do as He instructed. Maybe one day I will share more…
For now, I am busy preparing to be gone for 12 days. I have 3 little boys who need their Mom to pour her heart into their little souls to fill them up to help them through these long days. I have one little boy who remembers all too clearly the last trip, and he is not scared to tell me his feelings. And I have another who thinks the beach is just too good to not be going along. He wants to make a family trip out of this. (How I wish son, how I wish!!) And he has one request – That I bring back enough white sand to cover the yard to make it at least look like we have snow here since God is not sending him any!! I am going to fulfill the request by bringing back a jar full for him!! Shhh, don’t tell him though.
So if you think of us, say a prayer. It’s not easy to have our family all torn apart… we are just thankful for a shorter time then last yr. But we are anticipating the treatments to be about as intense. It will not just be a pleasure trip for me, (or my sister, as she has lyme and is planning to do treatments too.) But I do look forward to quality quiet time, prayer time, digi-scrapping time, me time, sister time, beach time, walking, recharging the batteries and just focusing on getting better!!