The Cow in the Oven & Other Random Tails…

eto-humour
One day Collin was pulling his lunch from the oven, and for some reason Rylen had thrown a small plastic cow at Collin at the same time. It hit him on his head and of course went right into the oven. Oh, my, you would have thought the house was on fire!!! At first I couldn’t figure out what was going on… Until between the breathy words I figured out there was a cow in the oven!! And why would it land in some easy place to retrieve it? Of course it had to slide right down in the vent thing on the bottom of the oven. And it took some digging to get the little thing out. I was just thankful we had been using the broiler and not the oven part. So it was not in danger of melting, and it was only a tad warm in there.

I often have to listen really hard to discover whether they are talking of actual barn happenings or just playing. Collin just walked in the door from doing calf chores and asked, ‘Anyone else calve?’ I was like, ‘Whhaa?’ *you are the one who just walked in from the barn* ‘Oh, yes, # so & so, and # so & so just did’, Jevan replied. (I forget the numbers that were rattled off.) ‘Ok. What else has been happening?’ ‘Well, these need to get trimmed. And these are just dried off.’ ‘You know, I think we should just start over!!’ Ok, then. Farm reorganization coming right up!! I’ll send Karson in. He makes an awesome tornado!!

‘You can tell the difference between a human & a cow. A cow goes a whole lot faster!!’ -Collin

‘When the computer wakes up, it’s gonna be gassy!!’ – Jevan, on a Sunday morning

One day the boys were playing ‘prisoner’. One gets beaten, I didn’t catch why. But then he is thrown into jail (a nearby closet). Soon I hear, from the dark recesses of said closet, ‘God! Jesus! Please help me!!!’ ‘Jesus’, he says again loudly, ‘are you there?’ The guard quickly rushes in & hauls him off to be beaten again. (I’m never sure what to think of re-enactments like this!!)

One day I told Jevan, ‘Tomorrow you are gonna go with Dad to get heifers.’ ‘Yeah, I know. We are gonna get Steer’. ‘A steer? There aren’t any steers up there,’ I said surprised! He knows what is raised at the heifer raiser! ‘Mom, it’s Steer!! A heifer who is so mean, we call her Steer!!’

Karson was fussy and grumping around. Finally Jevan had enough and firmly told him, ‘Karson, we are farmers. And farmers don’t cry!!’ -May ’15

Overheard while sitting in the van one evening, waiting on dad… ‘When I get married, and after my wife has my kids, I’m just gonna get rid of her.’ -Unnamed

‘WHO farted??!!!?!????!!! Why didn’t you just empty your tank at home?? -Unknown

‘Jevan, time to go to bed.’ Down the steps he goes. 2 minutes later he comes back up… ‘I don’t know what to do!’ ‘Ummm, GO to BED!!’, I said. ‘OH’, he replied!

Flash flood warnings out tonight! In the vicinity of 2 corners and stainless caverns. The was a large leak in faucet city that overfilled Lake Stockpot. Mr. Spider and Miss Dust Bunny have lost their homes. Many rushed to the scene to redirect water into proper channels, one of which, they unclogged the dam. The worst of it is over. (Thanks Collin!)

These are a bunch of quirps I have saved for a long time… no clue on dates. It’s been so long ago that I put them in here, I had to find them from many odd corners of my house.

And I just found a whole bunch more… these at least have the month and yr added to them. 🙂 So that helps… I had to go back digging on my blog for my last ‘Homemade Humor‘ posts and make sure I didn’t repost things. And I was having merry fun rereading all the things those little boys of mine said. My dad loves reading these, and he made mention of them again today. So I thought it time to do another post of them. I don’t write stuff down nearly like I used use to. For one, they are getting older and the childish humor just isn’t there as much. But the BIG humor is coming…

Friday, the day after we got home from our trip to CO, Collin came in with a silly grin on his face and I knew he was up to something, but I had no clue what. ‘Mom, he said, ‘Grandpa’s have a Kabota’. ‘Umm, yeah’, I replied. ‘Where do you think I have been and how long do you think we were gone? Of course they have a Kubota.’ ‘I’m serious Mom!! They do.’ ‘So what’s the joke?’ I finally asked, realizing he had more up his sleeve. ‘They got a Kabota mower now too.’ He said with a merry laugh as he chortled his way out the door!! -June ’15

Anyway now for the quirps I’ve been saving for over a yr… er, 2 yrs!

I can’t see!! I got salt and pepper in my eyes!!! -Collin 4-30-12

There was a stray cat that showed up at our church one evening during revivals. It was obviously a house cat, she had a flea collar and a little collar with a bell. The children were all out playing, petting and holding her before the service. She snuck in the door a couple times with unsuspecting peoples. Soon after we were seated in our bench, Rylen looks at me with a silly grin and says, ‘I die meow.’ *he pats his stomach and licks his lips* ‘Eat meow, it nummm yum’. I figured he’s either really hungry or just plain gross!!!! -Rylen -May ’13

Mom, when I a high boy, I unna caught a doe! (High boy- Big boy. Hunt a doe.) – Rylen

Mom, when I a high one, I get a bue (blue) un (one) and go brummmm! (He wants a blue pickup when he grows up. -Rylen -Spring ’13

‘Make Jevan get down’. ‘Why?’ ‘He’s bugging. And I hate bugging me. It makes my head go wrong!’ -Collin -Spring ’13

I gave Jevan the bowl and scraper from making frosting to lick and enjoy. (The scraper was the kind the handle slides off of.) Collin comes along and sees him licking just the spatula end of the scraper, no handle in sight. ‘Jevan’, he exclaims, ‘You ATE the STICK?!?!?!’ -Collin -Spring ’13

‘Rylen, you are wearing my shirt’. ‘Uh uh!’ ‘Yes, it used to Jevan’s after it was mine. you know back in 1983!!’  -Collin -Spring ’13

Jevan reaches for a black marker. ‘Jevan, is your favorite color black?’ He just grins and starts to color his stars a deep black color. ‘Do you think starts are black?’ *Giggle* ‘If stars were black, you wouldn’t be able to see them.’ ‘Yeah! he replied, ‘Just open them up and you can!!’ -Jevan -Spring ’13

Rylen’s favorite sayings…

You tell him something he thought no knew about, or he tried to hide, etc, he says, ‘How hmm (you) know?’

If he wants to do something by himself he is quick to tell you, ‘No man help me!!’

We finally got him to start saying ‘Thank-you’ but it comes out- ‘Fank me’! -Spring/Summer ’13

He dearly loves his baby sibling growing within my belly… A lot of mornings he will crawl into bed with me, pat my stomach and say, ‘G’Morn-in’ Su’shine. Time ‘ake up!’ -pregnant with Karson -Summer ’13

After asking about the baby and what it’s doing and such in my belly. I told the boys it’s just sleeping and floating in water in there. Rylen’s eyes get big and he says, ‘En a BOAT in der??’ -Summer ’13

Jevan was fiddling with Collin’s octopus, and suddenly he says ‘Collin. I have something to tell you.’ Collin comes over and says, ‘I did something too.’ And at the same time they tell each other, ‘I took a leg off the octopus’. (This was one of those things that absorb water and grow the longer it is in there. And they were both feeling guilty for tearing off a leg.) -Aug ’13

‘It’s raining!’ ‘Good, we need the rain.’ I said. ‘But I don’t see any rain drops.’ – Jevan – 9-’13

After noting the mess of toys, bikes etc. across the lawn, I commented to the boys, ‘This place sure looks like it has kids living here.’ ‘They all looked at me funny, so I explained what I seen. Jevan dryly remarks, ‘Yeah, but we should be piggies.’ – Jevan -9-’13

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This entry was posted in Boys, Family Life, Homemade Humor, Motherhood, Randomness and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Cow in the Oven & Other Random Tails…

  1. Bev says:

    Lol I miss all the little kids humor around here. But I do enjoy the big kids humor too. 🙂 Maybe I should write them down too! 🙂

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