Fresh Beginnings…

Hi, I’m back here again… Not sure what the future holds for this space. But I’m dusting it off and we’ll see. I have lots of polishing up to do. Missing pictures and links. Thanks for understanding as I work to get it done.

Major Changes, Gracefully Adjusting

Good bye Farm Life

So many people felt sorry for us last fall when we sold our cows and moved off the farm in WI and headed to OH in Oct. 2017. What they didn’t know was all the ways God was changing our hearts towards farming, and how God was so specifically leading us. Yes, the changes and adjustments were not very easy. In fact there were days that were down right HARD!!! But God knew we needed to leave the farm and it was time to move on. We had no clue how hard the milk and cow markets would go down and crash not long after we sold the last of our cows.

I’d never do what??

I had done what I always said I’d never do. My mom had grown up on a farm, and I remember going to my Grandpa’s and Uncle’s farm. I loved helping cousins out now and then. But mom had also told me how it tied them down, when she was growing up. There were also the fun stories of memories she carried. So it wasn’t all bad. I had a love of travel, gotten honestly from my dad. He loved to travel, and explore new places. So our family did a lot of that growing up. I just knew I would not wanna be tied down. So I made the bold statement, “I’ll never marry a farmer!!’

I married a farmer

Yep, I did just that. I married my best friend, a farmer!! You can read our Love Story here. God knew what I would need most. A steady husband who was home nearly 24/7!! And yes, there were some big adjustments marrying a farmer man. I was not used to a guy randomly popping in the door to distract you. And, honestly, at first, it frustrated me. But then I realized I had to be flexible. You can’t have a strict routine!!! And I soon came to love those interruptions and welcome the breaks in my day.

And then my health crashed, the fall of ’10, when our boys were 5, 3 and 1. I just could not get my bounce back. I was so grateful for a farmer husband who was home or nearby all day. He often had a boy or 3 at his elbows or riding in a tractor with him. It would be 5 yrs. before I would be back to healthy again.

So, yes, I am very grateful for those 9 yrs of living on the farm. We spent the first 4 yrs of our married life, working with Delvyn’s dad on his farm. And then moved onto the farm across the road.

Beginning of changes

Last summer, July ’17, we took a trip east. We were finally beginning to see God put the pieces together of many different parts that He had been showing us over the years. It was time to pull up roots and move. Oh, the flood of emotions that brought to us. But by mid July, and a visit to friends in eastern OH. We knew we’d be back to call this home. Although we had no clue when or how it would all work out.

Long story short – by the beginning of Oct. the last of the cows were sold. God had graciously allowed them to sell off in small groups and lots, easing the pain of an empty barn. So, our 100 cows had gradually been driven out our driveway, as we swallowed hard with each load that went. Changes were coming, ready or not.

We were READY!!

But it was HARD!! We moved to OH the end of Oct. Delvyn didn’t have a job waiting. We were walking in faith. My health had been greatly helped by Plexus products and by spiritual healing, and Plexus has given us an income we hadn’t anticipated, but are so grateful for. It carried us through these months of adjustments.

We needed this time from Oct to June to just be home. Just be a family, to process, to heal and refocus to be able to move ahead in life again. The days did get super long, with boys getting bored without chores to do every day. They missed their animals, the chores and the routine. So we played games. A LOT!! So much so the boys dread when Dad calls them to the table!! But when their bickering from boredom got to be too much, it was games – distract’em time.

Looking for Work

Delvyn looked for work. He even looked into buying a business. But every time God would shut the door. We were to just wait. In April he began working with friends grilling chicken. He worked Fri. at the food stand in Rodgers at the flea market. And Sat. at the restaurant. Collin would go with to help, and he really enjoyed it.

He has also worked other odd jobs here and there with friends. God was preparing our hearts for the next step. We knew the time was coming for the next step in these changes that had begun in Aug.

Open Doors

It was in June that God began opening doors for a job. And we were feeling God telling us it is time. So the end of June found Delvyn beginning a whole new line of work, building steel buildings, for a friend from church. On Delvyn’s side of the story, he is enjoying the work. It’s been an adjustment. But there’s peace in what he’s doing!! And being right where God wants him for now!!

It really has been an amazing adjustment for all of us. Some days are long and hard, each in it’s own way for each of us. We all miss being together. I miss not being able to talk to my hubby about things whenever, wherever… and have to remember what all I need to talk to him about each evening. Plus I need to share him with the 5 littles that miss him just as much.

Adjusting gracefully

The first day of work looked long to me. And I was leaning hard on God!! I knew I needed to be strong for my children, showing them the realness of it all, it’s hard. But also giving them grace to have hard moments, as I knew I would need that grace too.

God gave me some real words of wisdom – ‘I can either make the changes hard. Or I can walk through them gracefully. It will all depend on my attitude!!!’ gulp He knows me so well!!! And knows I can tend to look on the hard things as hard, and my attitude can stink. But He has been doing so much work on this area of my life. And knew I would need this reminder again.

Attitudes Make a Huge Difference

As I thought about this, it began to unpack in my mind. I really hold a lot of sway in my hands. I have 5 children under my care all day, and moms attitude can quickly filter down through the crew under my care. It really is up to me to make this adjustment easy or hard!! It will be my attitude towards my husband being gone 10-11 hrs each day, that will make it easy or hard for the children. It will be my attitude toward the adjustments that will be an encouragement or discouragement, to my husband as we walk through the hard moments. He will question if what he is doing is right, if it is so hard on the rest of us. Or I can admit it’s hard, and share the struggle, but stand by him and say ‘We’ve got this!! We will get through this!!’. It will be my attitudes that will make the home a peaceful haven of rest for my man at the end of the day or a place of bickering and tension that is most unwelcoming to come home to. It is my attitudes that will make me a happy mom or a grumpy mom.

And my attitude will be a direct result of what I am focusing on. Am I focusing on the hard? And feeling the stress and unrest of the changes. Or am I focusing on the good? And feeling the peace of being held through those moments by the arms of a loving Savior, giving me strength to keep my focus on the good, that we can go through these changes, allowing them to make us stronger and more like my Jesus!! My attitude will make these adjustments a graceful experience. Not perfect, but full of grace!!

I messed up

Yes, I did. I’m not sure why yesterday was hard. But it was. And I was whining. A lot!! My spirit felt so low. It was so hot, our AC isn’t working. I have been working through some other things… and just felt out of tune. It was affecting my children, and things were spiraling down fast. Then Rylen asked me to go see a bees nest in the barn.

So I went with him, chatting and just taking time to ‘live in the pause’. Jevan showed me a big blackberry patch, loaded with big, juicy berries. I found myself saying, ‘Pick enough for a pie and I’ll make you all one!!’ What? I didn’t even feel like making supper, so had thrown leftovers in the oven!!

But they came in with a nice amount, and I threw strawberries in with it, that needed used up as well. And Kianna and I made a lovely pie. (If you want more to the story, it’s on FB.) As I made that pie, my song came back. My spirits lifted as my focus came back to where it belonged. And when that handsome man of ours walked in the door, it was to a peaceful, cheerful scene!! And we ALL enjoyed that pie so much!!!! It was just an awesome reminder once again of God’s grace to me in this season. I don’t have to do it perfectly. I will mess up. But we are learning.

Funny Happenings

The first day Delvyn worked, he texted me about half way through asking me if I had done a few things we had talked about. I laughed, and answered him, ‘Yep. A long time ago. Do you know how much you can get done in a day with out a man to distract you all the time?’

I think it was the 2nd day, Jevan and Rylen kept bickering. Collin finally decided to take matters in his own hands, and called them to the table to play games. They were horrified that Collin would do such a thing!!! And looked at him in shock, then argued with him. But Collin was firm. And they played a few rounds of a game, changed their attitudes and went on their merry way. This mom hid her merry laughter from them as well.

GRACE

So while these changes have their hard moments, we are adjusting and choosing to see the blessings in it. We make the best of each day and don’t have high expectations. We are allowed mistakes and are thankful for the goodness of a Father who is tenderly walking us through this phase of life. He is growing us, changing us, and strengthening us!!! We are so grateful!!!

Growth, Marriage & Honesty

Time to write…
If I don’t write, it won’t be saved. If I wait for the perfect time, it won’t happen. If I wait for the best inspiration, my thoughts stay stuck. So, I’ll just write…

Growth…
How do you know you are growing, changing? How do you know that God really is working in your heart & life? So many times when I am in the middle of life & I look around, it feels like I’ve not went any where! I’m still struggling with the same things I’ve struggled with before. I’m still spinning my wheels, not feeling like I’m getting any where in the things I know God is working on.

But then… a test comes. Something that I was not expecting! There is hurt & anger, frustration & fear that pops out. Inside I’m crying. Outside there’s a calm. But my mind is in a turmoil.
Then I begin to just go numb. I don’t know what to feel or what to think. But I have this deep peace that this is for my good! And that first burst of anger is replaced with feelings of gratefulness.

I’m grateful for honesty. Grateful for forgiveness. Grateful for love. And grateful for a Father who holds me.

Marriage is hard work. But when my hubby fixes coffee for me three mornings in a row, and uses this cup each time. I can’t help but know he loves me!! We all know a good marriage take time. It takes times of intentional work to keep the relationship open, growing and thriving. There are days of miscommunication, things that are hard to share with the other, misunderstandings… and more, that happens in a marriage. And we need to lay down self and humbly work through those hard spots. Communication is so important!!

Our Past Affects the Present
There are things in our past that affects our present. The way we respond to things in life, to words spoken, and actions done. Learning about ourselves, and communicating how it made us feel & react, helps the spouse understand its not about them, but it’s you. So often there are things buried deep down that we don’t realize are affecting how we do life. And we’d rather bury them then face them. We fear the hurts, fear the feelings that will surface, fear the other person’s reaction… and the list of fears and reasons goes on. But buried things tend to explode one day & then it’s not pretty. It is best to make a choice to uncover the ugly. Even though it may hurt the other person, they also know it was a choice to open up & be vulnerable. It gives the other person the opportunity to be able to respond in a more loving way. No it may not be easy, but it does give a foundation for trust to be build on once again.

HONESTY
Honesty with each other isn’t easy. No one ever said it is, or that it would be. But it starts with being honest with God!! There was a time in my life, I feared God. I would never have been able to tell you that. But it’s true. And I had a really hard time being honest with Him. I didn’t trust spilling my guts to Him. I felt like He could never love me with all the trash that was in my life. And I would work so hard to perform and do the things just right, so that He would love me again. But I would just go through cycles of feeling loved and feeling rejected, like I wasn’t good enough. It really was an awful, messy way to live life!!

God redeemed me in a beautiful and loving way!! And I was able to finally be completely and totally honest before Him. And my life totally changed!! It didn’t happen overnight. No, it was process of Jesus wooing my heart. As I learned to trust Him, to trust His voice, and trust His love for me. I am feeling secure in who He made me. I feel secure in His love. I feel secure around others. And when things happen that shake my world, I realize my foundation is still solid on Jesus Christ.

And I realize I’m not feeling rejected by my Father in those hard moments of feeling rejected or hurt by others. But that I’m actually feeling His strength holding me tightly to himself. I feel His protection from the lies that are flitting in the outer regions of my thoughts. And I realize they are not gaining entry into my mind. There will be no weapon formed against me that shall prosper.

This past week, I found I can run to my Savior, in the middle of hurt & pain. And I can feel His arms around me. He’s just holding me, letting me cry & letting me know every thing will be all right!! I begin seeing the beauty of walking through this rough, painful spot. I see that this is just a ‘mess’, right now that is needed to be waded through to continue on. We need this to grow! What the enemy intended for evil, God will use for good if we will allow Him to heal and redeem!!

As I sat there in the comfort of my Father’s arms, He has shown me that I really have come along ways. I’m no longer running away from Him in fear & shear terror, even when I had every reason to run straight to His arms.
He was showing me how I had actually run to Him first! And didn’t wait for ‘permission’, waiting until I felt ‘worthy’ enough. I could see that my understanding of pain is different. I no longer run in fear of it, but am learning to embrace it. Allowing it to grow me.

So, while I know I’ve still got a long, long ways to go & grow. Tonight I’m thankful for the rough days. The days that show me I’ve been learning, I’ve been growing. I’m learning to trust. I’m letting go of that fear that held on to me so tightly, for so long. And I know I’m blessed!

And in the middle of the hard spots, I can thank God!! He is redeeming the time!! Marriage is hard!! There are times of hurt, pain and things that need to be worked through. New understandings, new thoughts, new paths to walk… it takes lots of communication. Late nights, early mornings, talking and sharing hearts. Being open and honest with each other. Walking through those hurts, the misunderstandings, and fears. It’s hard! But it is oh, so worth it. Your marriage will come out so much stronger! And you will both be so blessed for working through the hard!!

~Be blessed and be a blessing!!

 

My Swap.com Review, Saving Time & Money

I got another swap.com order this morning!!

Who doesn’t love large boxes in the mail!?!?!???!!!! They are so fun to open! (Just ask my boys… they nearly fight over the opportunity to open one. So I rarely get to open them myself anymore. Oh well, they have fun, until most times they discover it’s just cleaning supplies or something that isn’t fun. Thanks to Amazon Prime!! So I wanted to share a quick review of this fun-to-open-box!! That had awesome stuff for ME!!!

And who doesn’t love a great deal!?!?!?!!!! I get frustrated trying to save $$ on clothes and shopping thrift stores and never finding what I’m looking for. Or finding something sorta what I’m needing, only to discover I don’t care for it after all. And that means I’ve wasted money on items I’m not going to wear, not to mention I won’t get my $$ back out of it.

So what do I like about Swap.com??

After ordering a few times, I’m figuring things out a bit. My first couple orders were not super successful. Then a couple mths ago ordered and ended up sending most of my items back. I was feeling discouraged about it. But I had credit money to use up. So I bravely put in another order and this time, the order was PERFECT!!

And yes, you read that right, I had sent back 2nd-hand items, that I got to try on in my bedroom, with my clothes to see how they match and can coordinate with other items in my closet. I pay shipping to my house, but any items I return, it’s free shipping!!! And they refund my $$.

They will not refund the cost of shipping of sending it to you. Then the refund is in the form of ‘store’ credit. Unless the item was misrepresented. Which I’ve had a few of those. Then they will refund the money in the form of payment. So I figure as long as I am keep an item or 2, I am not loosing money from the shipping. OR you can order $60 worth and get shipping free!!!

And their clothing is in great condition!! My skirts are like new!!!

So what was different?

This time I was more careful in watching my skirt lengths. And trusting sizes and the brand that it was. (Yes, it was all skirts, as I have been needing some shorter ones for this summer.) I’m discovering just how much brands vary, and it can be frustrating. So I tried to go with brands I know, then I would know the size I would need. Next I searched in the length and size I was looking for. I love, love how their site is set up, I can sort the search results many ways to only sift through the items I would really want. Saving me LOTS of time. And as a busy mom, you can imagine how important that is!!!

I do really wish they would include a waist/hip measurement on each skirt, as that would help a lot!! I could try more brands.

These skirts are Christopher and Banks, Cato, (the 2 I for sure knew). And then New York & Company, Gianni Bini, and Requirements. The last 2, I just hoped they would fit. I was pretty sure the New York & Company would. And they all did. (And yes, I realize I’m missing a skirt, I forgot to take a picture of the last one.

I totally LOVE Online Shopping and Saving for my family!!

It’s so nice to be able to just shop from home!! I don’t have to pack up the crew or have to slip out on my own. (Although honestly, they all rarely ever go shopping with me, choosing to stay home with Dad. And I really don’t mind that much at all. I can move faster, and browse more without a person wondering when I will ever be done digging through racks of used clothes.) Double honest here… I don’t 2nd hand shop clothes much at all anymore. Except the one store I found that has boys jeans nearly every time I need them! But they rarely have clothing for Kianna, so I shop here at Swap.com for her.

And I’ve had good success with items for Kianna. Only a few skirts were not represented properly, so they were returned. And she LOVES the ‘NEW-to-her’ clothes that came in the mail!! Plus it super easy to shop for her at this grand age of 2!

So I’ve not tried Swap for the boys. BUT I really should for certain ones of mine!! I could show them shirts and they could choose, and say what they would actually wear. The older they get, the harder it is to get them to wear what I get them. And since they won’t go shopping with me, a certain boy or 3, wear the same couple of shirts over and over. Minimalism at it’s finest!!! But they keep growing and the shirts are not!!

The only thing I don’t like – yep, there’s one. I can’t touch it!!! I LOVE to feel my clothing, because I like soft, comfy clothes. So I’m learning to watch my fabric types, & what they are made of.

 – Disclosure –

I wasn’t paid to write this post. I am a customer of Swap.com just like you might be. I found the site and gave it a try. And I really love it so I wanted to share it with you.

But some of the links in this post are my referral links. Which means when you purchase through them I might make a little money or get credit towards my future purchases at no extra cost to you. And because I referred you, you can get 20% off your first purchase of $20 or more! And if you refer your friends you can earn credit too. Sweet, huh!?

I have one more sweet deal, if you’ve made it all the way to the end… I have one 30% off coupon code to give to the first person to ask for it. It is site wide savings!! They often have great deals and savings, and days of free shipping!! So go check them out!!!

 

 

Family Update & Picture Post April 2018

A blessed, busy, filled, and fulfilled life…

I thought it’d be easier to just do a picture post of the past few wks.

Snow pictures from our pretty snow fall yesterday morning… I just had to go out and take some pictures!!!

April Snow Storm

At least this time I didn’t have wash hanging out there. That day sure was strange. This OH weather is different than WI, that’s for sure!!! It can be warm and sunny in the morning, cloud up shortly, be raining and back to sunshine in a few hrs. It’s just that on that day, it went to a snowstorm. And I was shaking a couple inches of snow off of my wash!! We are loving the adventures of a new area and learning the many different things about this place!!

There are 5 ponies in the pasture behind the house…

And the friendly one of the bunch. He had to come up and say ‘HI’.

Our new kittens…

Meet Boomer, Dynamite and Candy. This time I helped with the names!!! The boys have a strange way of deciding on names.

The boys, namely Rylen-8, has been wanting kittens for a long time. On the farm, they would always turn about wild. And he really wanted to bring at least one with when we moved. But it didn’t work out. So he was delighted when we were able to get 3 free baby kittens.

They were just weaned when we got them. And they got hauled around for the first 1.5 wks. to different places. But they are doing good & have put up with a lot of fun, rough play from the little ones here.

Delvyn & I headed for PA Wed morning in that huge snow storm… only took 1.5 hrs extra to get there. We spent 4 days at a conference, coming home Sunday morning at 3am. We stayed home from church, visiting with friends who had spent the night, after attending the same conference with us.

Helping Family Move

We were home 2 days before heading to PA once again, early Tues morning. This time to Juniata County. Delvyn’s cousin was moving up from Reinholds/Lancaster area. So we offered to help unload. Tues was household stuff.

We then spent the night with friends a couple miles away. And had a lovely evening catching up until very late, er, early morning! We hadn’t seen them in 11 or 12 yrs. So it was pass time!!

Wed. morning we headed to the farm once again. This time to unload cows.

Lots of fun & excitement with all that activity. The guys unloaded around 80 head that morning.

Watching the action…

Ushering cows unto their new stalls, as I headed back to the house then, to keep unpacking in there.

After a pizza lunch, we headed for home around 2. It’s a nice 4 hrs drive & the littles were so worn out, they slept nearly the whole way over the mountains, which had made Kianna car sick on the way in. So it was nice not to have to deal that again!!

Aberdeen Cattle

Sat. Evening the next fun project was delivered… 3 Aberdeen cattle to the Olive Branch Farm where we are going to raise some beef. 2 pregnant mama’s and a young heifer.

The boys are disappointed they are so far from home, but it’s only 5.5 miles away. And Collin was quite shocked that they are so little! Yep. They are basically a mini Angus, very docile & friendly. I took these pictures Sunday morning on our way to church. They ran right up to the fence to greet us. !Olive Branch is a ministry close to our church with pastures needing animals to keep them trimmed up. So we are happy to provide some beef.

 

 

Lego Fun

 

Then there’s the random pictures I find on my phone. The boys spend hours & hours playing Legos! We have a small bedroom that is just for Legos. It’s so nice not to have them all over the house!! This is Jevan’s big cattle trailer.

Mom Boot Camp

This month I am stepping out of my comfort zone & doing some Mom Bootcamp training this month. I’m not sure what all is involved. But after only the first session yesterday, I’ve a feeling it’s going to be stretching & very good for me!

It’s a personal development for moms that focuses on changing from the inside out. Dealing with root issues, as to why we respond the way we do to life, from a spiritual stand point. I’m excited to keep growing, keep healing & see what God has for me this month!

Life has been a journey of healing, physically, emotionally & spiritually for the past 5 yrs. I’ve shared bits of our story here… And plan to keep sharing more as I can. You can read more about my lyme journey here. It’s not been easy, as you can imagine. But the healing that has been done is amazing when I can look back and realize that the raw hurt is no longer there. Our marriage that started out rough, and had some really bumpy spots, has been healed in so many ways, as our hearts heal. If you wanna read Our Love Story, you can find part 1 here.

I also am updating our story CD collection with some favorites I missed.

May you all be blessed today!!

In My Dream Life Is A Puzzle

The night I found Jesus, (or was it the night I finally admitted I didn’t know Him?)… I was given a beautiful dream. And this was just over 3 yrs ago.

My life had felt like such a mess for so long… and I struggled with the view I had at that point. There was so much hurt, anger, frustration, bitterness. And I looked at my children, and knew there was much to be undone, redone, and to heal in their hearts. It all just looked really huge! I had a new found peace, but reality was staring me in the face.

God knew what I needed & He gave me a dream that night that gave me hope & helped me realize & understand some things. And I’ve hung onto it ever since…

I’m my dream, Jesus handed me a big puzzle box. As He placed it in my hands, He said ‘This is your life’. The cover had a beautiful nature scene with mountains, sun, clouds, a stream flowing into a lake, trees, shadows… you know the scene. It was peaceful. But as I shook the box, all the pieces rattled. I was confused. How was this my life? It sounded like a mess! Nothing was together. I looked at the picture & peeked into the box wondering how this could all be put together again.

Jesus looked at me with eyes of love, and explained to me, ‘You just experienced new life! My life within you! And the world looks bright. But you also see all the things that will need to be reshaped & molded into my image. It all feels like a huge mess! Just like all these pieces in the box… you don’t know where to start to put your life back together.

It’s not for you to worry about. I’ll put the pieces back together for you! There will be sunshine & happiness. See those shadows & steep mountain sides? It’s not all going to be easy!!

But, I will be the One putting your puzzle back together again. You don’t need to worry about it. I am the Master designer & I will decide the speed at which you heal. I will decide when you are ready for the next piece to be put into place. I will put you together. You don’t need to worry about a thing!’

It was so comforting to me to hear that. He knew I needed that visual explanation.

There are so many times I begin to feel like I should be learning something faster, or growing in an area, or see things that need to be changed & begin to panic. But my Father gently reminds me that He is the one putting this puzzle back together. He knows the perfect timing for each step.

And every time I take my hands off of my puzzle & quit trying to do it myself… He grows me. He has shown me over & over that He really is the best at knowing how heal & grow me. And that the dreams He gives me are for a purpose. I’ve learned to be aware of dreams & what they mean. I love learning to listen to Him & hearing His voice. And I love watching Him put each puzzle piece back into place.

Power of Christ in Me

Some thoughts that keep rumbling around in my brain today…

Last night, we didn’t go to bed until this morning. So, was that last night or today? Anyway, whatever… it was well after 1 am. Kianna had a nap that afternoon & was good to go.

She, along with Karson, have been fighting some battles with night sleeping. And for nearly a week now, one or the other or both are up half the night. Karson has dinosaurs in his room, in his bed… he comes to our room & wants in our bed. Because there’s dino’s on our floor too. Let’s just say, a 4.5 y.o. in a queen size bed with his parents, he’s getting more sleep than we are. Kianna goes to sleep around 7:30 each evening, unless we are gone & I make her nap. She slept most nights until waking up around 11 & was ‘restless’ until after 3am. When we’d all crash in utter exhaustion.

No place was sleep worthy. In her bed, in our bed, on our floor… on mom’s side, on dad’s side… you get the idea. And believe me, we prayed & prayed over them.

So, by now, I should be a royal mess! Physically worn out, mentally taxed, emotionally a mess & spiritually frustrated.

Healing comes in 2 ways. Spiritually & physically. I know I’ve said it before & I know I’ll say it again. You can’t have one without the other. And I watch it happen over & over in my own life.

It’s only because of Jesus I can wake up with a song each morning, no matter that the day is starting very late! It’s only because of Jesus that my song can keep playing all day!

I have the choice to be frustrated at the messy in life when we are fighting through spiritual battles or I can choose to say, ‘There is good in this mess’ & lift my head up & know that Jesus will carry me through the hard moments when I wouldn’t be able to continue on, on my own.

When I let Jesus carry me through,

I won’t feel entitled to things in life. ‘God, You know I’ve been running on very little sleep. Please, please, let my little ones sleep ALL night! You know how much I NEED it!’ No. Instead, it’s, ‘Jesus, You know I’ve not been getting much sleep. There is a lot of warfare going on. I feel weary. But my spirit rejoices in what You are doing through this! I commit my night/day to You! You give me what I need, because You are going to carry me through the places I’m too weak to

continue on in’.

I’ve long struggled with the saying ‘God doesn’t give us more than we are able to bear.’ Yes, I get the connotation. BUT, if God never gave us more than we could bear, when would He ever get to show His power through us? There’s many times things come up in my life, that I have no clue how I’ll ever get through it. It’s then that Jesus comes along and does the impossible for me. And shows me His power in ways I’d have never seen, if I hadn’t been forced to lean hard on Him. In the same way, others watching our lives can see Jesus in a whole new & different way as well. Because we are not walking it out on our own power, but the power of Jesus is taking us through & showing them what an amazing Father can do for His children!

And He knows when we are ready to lean hard on Him, waiting & willing to let Him show Himself powerful through us, so that He receives the GLORY!

So it was last night, er, this morning, that Kianna & Karson slept from 1am, until after 9 for Karson & after 10 for Kianna. And I could receive the blessing! I was so blessed, even though I didn’t get to sleep in so long, I was so blessed they were getting sleep they needed so desperately! I hadn’t been demanding God to give me any thing.

He just gave it freely!

Also today… I had energy! I did so much today. But most of all… I ran 30 minutes away to a larger town to do some shopping this afternoon/evening, by myself. (Yeah, I’m blessed, I’d say spoiled, but it’s BLESSED!) My little people & hubby would rather stay home than shop, so I go alone. There are times I desire the companionship, so they will try to humor me & all go. But they end up waiting in Big Red, while I run in. Then I feel pushed because now they are all out there waiting on me. Anyway… I’ve been in that town 5? times since we moved here to OH the end of Oct. So an average of 1x a mth. I actually went up, did my shopping & home again without a GPS. Yay!! I did get lost once… But let me explain.

I went to the mall for the first time this evening. Let’s just say it’s about 2-3 times larger than what we had in WI. And JCP is 2 levels. I was getting really turned around in there. So while it wasn’t totally ‘lost’, I was beginning to wonder if it’s have to ask for help. But I didn’t. I managed to find my out. And then find my way out of the mall & back home.

As I sat here rocking my daughter to sleep, my thoughts went back over the day. There are tools that I use without really thinking about them. Prayer, Worship Music, and a constant tuning in to the Spirit of God within me.

But I also am so thankful for the physical healing that I’ve had. Shopping, in a new mall, feeling all turned around… I felt a moment of panic rising up. And that fast it was gone! But an experience like that would have drained everything out of me, physically, mentally & spiritually, only a few yrs ago. As I have addressed physical issues in my body, I’ve been able to see spiritual issues. As each is addressed, each can heal. Our gut health & imbalanced sugars directly affects our mind. The same with spiritual health, it affects our mind. Tearing down strongholds is freedom, spiritually, physically & emotionally!! And it’s worth fighting for!!

Are you willing to fight for your freedom? Whether it’s spiritually or physically, we all have a choice to make. Either one takes work, takes commitment. It takes conscience choices to choose right versus wrong. To choose healthy options over the ‘yummy’, sugar-laden, health hurting things. You have what it takes! Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe Jesus will carry you through, give you strength to choose what’s right for you. And in more than just ‘yes, I know’… does your heart connect with that?

So this went much further than I originally thought. So decided to do a blog post. Be blessed tonight!

Audio Books & Stories for Busy Boys

Audio Books, Dramatized Stories, & ways to entertain busy boys.

I’ve received a few requests asking what story cd’s my boys listen to, after I posted a picture showing I ‘polished’ over 100 cds. Yes, we have a lot of stories. And they have been played really hard!! So I thought I’d share our favorite stories and sources here with you. As a mom of 4 boys… we have a lot of energy to channel around here.

As you can imagine, how do you get boys to sit still? My boys are known to listen to stories on their heads, or feet up the back of the couch, or draped all over each other. These stories have entertained our boys from ages 4-12, and still going.

I think the FAVORITE of all times, are the boy’s parents least favorite. And I think we have them nearly memorized!!

You can purchase them through CLP

Benji, Ricky & the Hammond Cousins, Mario-A Belizean Boy

And I just realized they don’t carry the other books in a couple of those series Benji-The Inbetween Boy, Markie & the Hammond Cousins (although they do have it on cassette tape.) And we had borrowed a set from a cousin A Horse Called Willing that was nearly worn out as well!!!

Becky, Becky’s Eventful Summer (although we don’t have the Becky cds.) The Benji, Becky and A Horse Called Willing stories are all Amish settings. 

My Childhood Favorite

I grew up with the Your Story Hour stories. We had a lot of them. Mom would buy a new set each summer and we would sit and listen to a new tape each day we would sit and snap beans or can peaches or tomatoes or whatever. We could then listen to any we had already heard. But only ONE new one each ‘canning day’.

Our boys LOVE them as well. And will be spouting off some historical fact and I’ll be like ‘Where did you learn or hear that?’ And it will be from these cds.

Their Bible Stories, are true to life, real accounts, that follow the events of the Bible closely. And without a lot of made up extra’s that twist a child’s view of the actual happenings.

They have amazing Adventure’s in Life, which are stories with a lesson. Exciting Events, Great Stories, Heritage of Our Country… and more. I love the ones of real people, Hero’s, missionaries, Presidents, etc.

Another favorite –

be it Audio Books or mom reading the actual books, are from YWAM publishing. We have come to love their stories as well. And the narrator. (Some narrator’s are not as pleasant as others. Think Benji series, that’s why the parents don’t care for those as much.) Anyway…

YWAM books and audio books are mostly missionary stories, or Men & Women of Great Faith. There are the Christian Heroes Then & Now, And Heroes of History. They also have some Early Reader’s books as well.

We have a few of the Adventures in Odyssey. There are mixed opinions in this household about them. But the boys love to listen. We have this set Ultimate Road Trip.

Edit to add –

We REALLY like the Brinkman Adventures. Not sure how I missed them the first time I posted!!!

We also enjoy stories through I.G. Publishers. Begger’s Bible & Night Preacher are 2 we have. The only place I found to order them, (they were given as gifts to the boys) is through GVS (Good’s Variety Store) a mail order catalog. You can email them at sales@gvs.com to request a catalog. You can also order the Becky & Benji cd’s from here as well.

As you can imagine, has taken a beating, been handled roughly, sat on, slid on, stacked, hidden and more. I decided it’s easier to no longer store them in their jewel cases, so I purchases a large storage case similar to this. And it really helps. I also have a basket sitting near the player to hold the strays. (I do the same with our DVDs.)

When I was so low with lyme, these stories were a huge blessing!!! And they were listened to by the hours!! And yes, they got scratched. In fact the Benji, and Hammond Cousin stories we couldn’t listen to any more at all. So I started looking online for ideas. And seen the idea to use Pledge.

So I lightly sprayed, put a dab on, and then used a tissue to wipe around the cd. Allowing it to dry before putting back in the case. So far, it has helped. A few of the worse ones, are still skipping a bit. But I’m not surprised. I figure if it helps some, it’s worth it. I don’t know how long it will last, but for now, we are enjoying some stories we haven’t heard in a while.

Extra Bonus Link

I had a friend share this website with me Library & Educational Services 

It is for

• Resellers
• Libraries
• Schools
• Churches
• Home Educators
• Missionaries
• Day Care Centers

So if you fit in one of those categories, I highly recommend it!! The Your Story Hour cds are much cheaper. And you may find other things you like there as well.

Be blessed this evening.

 

Two Knights In Armor

I guess you could call this post #6 of ‘Our Love Story‘. But it’s where my heart has been. And you may wonder how knights and armor fit into marriage, so hear me out. As I look back on our married years, all the pain, all the hard, all the anger, all the frustrations… It actually might be a good a good analogy (and I love analogies in my spiritual life to understand what is happening). Armor is a protection. And in this case, it’s not really good. Yes, we need to put on the Armor of God, but set that aside right now.

Can you imagine building a relationship & being intimate with a person in this armor?

And my prayer for this post is that it would explain where we were in our marriage for so long. It is what caused so many emotions at the beginning of our marriage. I pray you can hear my heart through this post… I’m gonna write as I did in the wee hours of the night.

It’s a known fact that marriage can be, will be, is hard. After those first months of marriage, the honeymoon stage passes. And suddenly you begin to see your spouse through different eyes. During your dating/courtship days, you carefully show the best of yourself. And you pour yourself into loving them, making yourself lovable, showing ‘your good side’. Subconsciously, you are protecting your heart. I was protecting certain areas of my heart, keeping them guarded and under lock and key. I didn’t know or understand what was deep down there, I just knew I wasn’t going to let him in.

Hearing Lies & Protecting Hurts

Essentially each of us is wearing a suit of armor. We are protecting areas of pain and hurt. They are things that may go back to childhood. It’s things that I mostly likely didn’t even understand what had happened or how it would have effects on me for years to come! A couple examples are words spoken to or over me, or actions that are misunderstood. It is not the other persons fault. I, as a child, felt hurt, wounded, misunderstood or rejected by what was said or done. And satan used it as an open door to begin pumping lies into my mind. Lies about myself, and about others, how they felt about me and how I felt or should feel about them. I make an inner vow, whether consciously or subconsciously, saying I would never let that happen to me again. It’s the beginning of sealing our emotions and feelings in a metal box, the forming of that suit of armor.

It doesn’t take long and we have a full suit of armor, well built and very solid, that is protecting my inner being of thoughts, emotions and feelings. There are times that suit gets cracked, and we let someone in, until it gets too close to that pain & I quickly put my ‘coat’ back on and run!! Putting another coat of polish on to make it all look shiny and pretty again. On the outside, we look really good.

Clanking Armor

So… when two people get married, and they each have these coats of armor on – what do you think is going to happen when they live together? And as their lives become more and more intertwined? All that metal is bound to hit each other and it’s going to give off some nasty sounding clanks!! And all that pretty shiny polish is going to get dinged up. As that honeymoon phase is passing, and we get tired of performing all the time, we want to take off the heavy armor. Our character flaws are going to come out and irritate and annoy the other person. And it’s all going to clank and rattle.

There will be days of battle. Each trying to protect their hearts, and yet beginning to feel safe, and want to let the other person in. But there is the fear of being hurt again. So often the fight is an inner battle expressed outwardly. I don’t want my husband to know the deep, dark secrets of pain. But it’s these pockets of pain causing me to react in unloving and disrespectful ways. And I don’t want to share with him what he did to trigger the pain and reaction, because I don’t want to hurt him. But that is just what is hurting him.

Truth & HEALING

And so it was for us… I had no clue how many lies and walls were in my heart. I didn’t know I was burying stuff, and adding stuff on top of stuff. We didn’t know how to let each other into these deep, personal areas of our lives. But, PRAISE JESUS!! He’s in the business of redeeming hearts and marriages!!! I needed to take off, or at least begin taking off pieces of that armor, and begin to go through the pockets of pain. And we’ve had to wade, plow and dig through many. We have not ‘arrived’, by any sense of the word!! We are still uprooting lies and strongholds in our hearts. The difference is that we are finding each other to be a safe place. And we can trust our hearts to the other. When satan tries to drive a wedge in there, we can stand back and see where the attack is coming from and stand together, in agreement on TRUTH!! As we fight each battle we come out stronger. And our armor no longer clanks so loudly or rudely. We see the TRUE Armor of Christ in our lives.

Posted with my husband’s blessing. I am so blessed to call him MINE!!

Bittersweet Honeymoon Memories

Our Honeymoon lasted almost 3 weeks. The best 3 weeks ever… I got to sleep! A LOT! And yes, if you read Part 4 of Our Love Story, you know why. This post has been a bit harder for me to write. I’ve had to examine my heart, talk things over with my husband & have some prayer times. But it has been good, and healing. As we have been able to look back and realize that we have come a long ways, and it has been worth every rough spot.

Bittersweet: a mixture of pain and pleasure. I’m sure every Honeymoon has it’s sweet moments, but also has it’s hard moments of truth. As 2 single people learn to blend their lives together. And for us… we were 2 very different people stepping into this marriage thing with a lot of ‘stuff’ we had no clue about. But I MUST say, I had a wonderful husband, who loved and loved and loved!!! And this ‘newbie’ wife didn’t quite know what to do with it all. I had unintentionally put up guards around my heart, that didn’t know how to handle a husband’s physical love. There were a lot of fears that popped up, and I had no clue what to do with them.

So it was very stretching for both of us in other ways too. For one, I grew up wth a dad who liked to travel, he loved to stop at fun historical spots, or some fun or interesting place or other. So travelling was fun & exciting! This new husband of mine… well. 4 words – Life.On.The.Farm! They didn’t travel much. If they did leave the farm, it was to go to PA to visit family. Nothing wrong with that, we just didn’t realize how different our plans & ideas of a honeymoon would be. We can laugh now, but at the moment, there were some very frustrating times!

Honeymoon Memories

So, while I did sleep a lot, we actually had a lot of fun too. First up, we had decided to rent a small cabin in Oklahoma for 4 nights. Which would have been find, BUT next time check the local area for things to do! Yep, we had 2 things against us. First, it was up in the Ozark Hills, far away from anything to do! Second… it snowed the day we got there!

The lady was concerned we wouldn’t make it in. Her husband laughed at her, ‘They’re from WI!’ Yep, that was least of our worries. But the cleaning lady couldn’t clean the cabin we reserved. So we got a big, huge, semi-unromantic cabin instead. So big, we could play tag in there. (Don’t ask how we know, we were bored.) Yep, no tv, no movies, no place to go, every thing outside was a sloppy, muddy mess! Oh, but we made some fun memories anyway.

From there we headed west, across the top of Texas & across the southern states to CA. More fun memories. Or not. Drunks outside our hotel room, keeping people up & mad. Not that I would know, I slept! I honestly didn’t hear them.

We went to some Cowboy Museum, a rodeo, spent time in Albuquerque, NM exploring. And enjoying warm weather in Feb/ Mar.

In CA, we went to San Francisco, and I think the most fun we had our whole trip was the day at Sea World!! The most memorable hotel was one I reserved online? or something. We didn’t know where it was. And discovered it was DOWNTOWN! And high-end, as in there was valet parking, but we didn’t know. The building was very old, and unique. I thought it was really cool. We were in high society for one night. Even though we had about met our match in frustration getting there!

From there we headed to the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, 4 Corners & on up to CO. Delvyn got really sick, and we didn’t enjoy any of that. The things we wanted to do, got skipped. We basically stopped long enough to see a bit & say we were there. I was doing most of the driving through here too. And trying to take pictures out the window & not hit the rumble strips to wake my handsome husband! (What I wouldn’t have given to have had a digital camera back then!)

By the time we got to CO, Delvyn was done with travel. He was missing his cows & routine! And I was still enjoying my sleep too much. We decided to just go home!! And we made a straight beeline for home.

Homeward Bound

So home we went! It sure was a bit strange to go, ‘Home’ to our next new step in adjusting to married life. Both of our families lived with in 4 miles. We had rented a trailer & its 2 dozen cats on another dairy farm. We were closer to the barn than the landlords were. But we soon made it cozy & ours. We had done some painting before our wedding. So we just had the fun of setting up ‘housekeeping’. The first step was opening all our wedding gifts. Delvyn had wanted to open the gifts, so we waited until after we got back. And that was GREAT fun!!!

But the most frustrating part was ALL the cats under the trailer! It was pretty bad, in fact one day we rescued a kitten that was prowling in the duct work. I pulled her up through a vent into the house. *ugh* We tried every which way to block them, but they found a way in under the trailer. So nights were spent going to sleep with the sound of fighting cats, and fowl smelling air. And we woke up to peacocks looking in through the windows at us. Life sure wasn’t dull.

As we settled into newly-wed married life… I soon realized something was wrong with me. Delvyn would head for his parents place to chore at 3am-ish, back around 6. He’d shower (I say that because if I don’t someone will comment on that idea of grossness if I don’t!), crawl back into bed & we’d sleep until 9, sometimes later. And I’d still drag through the day & we’d crash again by 9pm. It was getting weird.

I finally decided to go to the Dr & see what was up. It didn’t take long & I was diagnosed with Mono. So now I had a free ticket to sleep ALL I WANTED! And no more having people thinking I’m pregnant. But this was just the beginning of a long, long journey!! And you can find a bit of my memories of that time here.

If you are just joining us, you can follow the links to Our Love Story Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 to read them.